Some of you may recall we decided to keep Palmer’s gender a surprise until her arrival. While I tend to be more of a Type A personality, the idea of not knowing was strangely appealing to me! Here’s why:
- I knew I wanted more than one baby and I didn’t want to saddle any additional children with all pink or all blue EVERYTHING!
- I thought this was one of the few genuine surprises left to be had.
- I enjoyed being able to tell people I didn’t know! People are so quick to ask the gender of your baby and it drives me a little nutty.
So, we waited! And I had one hundred percent convinced myself I was having a boy – I could not believe it (and apparently neither could my husband), as he questioned his own announcement, “It’s a … girl?”
While not knowing with Palmer was a complete thrill and I am so glad we did it, I felt compelled to know with our second child. I had a strong desire to be able to plan out his or her space ahead of their arrival, and to start calling them by their name. Early on in my pregnancy, Shawn attended an appointment with me where they would review my bloodwork. The doctor casually mentioned he knew the gender and Shawn and I decided if we were going to find out, we might as well find out then versus waiting for the ultrasound reveal. My second pregnancy was much different than my first, so again I thought it was a boy, and again I was wrong!
We were so excited to find out we would be having another daughter, but were anxious to share the news as our doctor explained that the blood results weren’t always accurate. We ended up keeping the gender a secret until it was confirmed via ultrasound. To share our excitement, we took a photo that evening to send to our closest family and friends – and even threw in an extra surprise when we shared her name.
After we shared the sex of Kedzie, I discovered my biggest pet peeve when it comes to sharing your baby’s gender: People assume you want the opposite gender of the child(ren) you already have.
As soon as we shared we were expecting again, I was bombarded with inquiries about the baby’s gender, and comments that I “must really want that boy.” Hello, &$!#% emoji – this comment in particular enrages me. I would NEVER have a baby out of desire for a specific gender; Shawn and I wanted a third baby. We often talk about the days when we’ll be empty nesters and how lovely it would be to have a house full of our children and their families around the holidays. The implication that we would keep having children solely to have a boy is quite frankly insulting.
My annoyance of people assuming we were longing for a boy coupled with the fact that we had thoroughly enjoyed the surprise the first time around, led to Shawn and I having several debates on if we would find out the gender of this baby.
My doctor actually provided me a sealed envelope at ten weeks, and we didn’t open it until I was 21 weeks! I know what you’re thinking, that’s some crazy will power, but to be transparent, I had a lot of anxiety during my first trimester and the gender of the baby was not on my mind at all. As I am sure is true for all parents, I just wanted a healthy baby, and a lot of my anxiety seemed to stem from guilt I felt about already having two healthy babies; I felt like asking for a third was pushing the limits and potentially selfish.
All of that said, we had been contemplating multiple life decisions lately, and it seemed like taking one unknown out of the equation may help alleviate some of the anxiety I was experiencing, so Shawn and I concluded we would find out the gender of the baby while we visited Michigan.
Another factor in our decision to find out, was Palmer’s excitement over the baby in mama’s belly and her persistence on whether it was a “boy baby or a girl baby” in there. So the decision was made to go to the local dairy farm with just the girls and our moms to do the reveal. We weren’t sure when or how we would cascade the news beyond this group, so I decided it would be fun to have some photos taken during the reveal.
To pull this off we provided the Grandmas with the sealed envelope. They handed it to the ice cream scooper at the counter and he took it in back then returned with a scooped cone covered by a cup, as well as two visibly pink cones (one for Palmer and one for Kedz).
So here we are, over halfway through pregnancy number three, and as some of you would say “finally” ready to share the “scoop” on baby three’s gender …
photo credit: Erica Kratt Photography
Needless to say, we are so EXCITED to be welcoming another daughter this year! And to head off the follow-up question I have received the most, no, we have not decided on a name yet!
How about you, did you find out your baby’s gender or do you plan to? Drop me a comment with how you revealed, or why you chose not to. Let me know if I am crazy for being annoyed about people assuming I would want the opposite gender – and for any mamas out there who have tips on managing their pregnancy anxiety, please share!