I have been contemplating if and when I would write this post from the time we decided to list our Chicago home. I didn’t know if I would want to or if I would be able to – I was scared of how emotional it may or may not be for me. One thing I can say for certain is that when we decided to list our home in February, I had no idea the impacts that COVID-19 would have on our decisions and just the overall trajectory of my family’s journey.
I want to address right up front that I understand that my family is very fortunate. We have remained healthy and employed during these uncertain times; I am aware of how grave COVID has been to other’s plans and lives. I am in no way pulling a “woe is me” here, but I am still allowing myself to have feelings around the way this pandemic has effected me.
So now that we have gotten that out of the way, I am going to tell you a little bit more about my relationship with Chicago. Much like my husband and I, we were off and on there for a minute. Unlike my marriage, Chicago and I will not be “on forever.” In fact, we’re breaking up – and while I knew it was coming, it feels more like I was cheated on than an amicable split.
You see, I had plans, plans for me, my family, my friends, my job, before I left this city that snuck into my heart. I thought there would be time to wrap my head around the move, time to enjoy my home, time for “the last times.”
I wanted another day in the sun here. Quite literally, I don’t put up with the Chicago winters to not reap the Chicago summer. I wanted my Lakefront trail runs back. I wanted to introduce Collins to the city that made me a Mama – her Mama. I was going to check out the world’s largest Starbucks, spend a kid-free night at Hotel Zachary, take Palmer to her first MLB game. (We’ve lived less than a mile from Wrigley for her entire life and we’ve never taken her inside the stadium!) I wanted a last trip to our favorite spots, a goodbye to our friends, I wanted more than I got.
Our decision to leave was our own, but it was one we weren’t satisfied with. While quarantining in Michigan we made the difficult decision to accept a lowball offer on our Chicago home. With a rapidly changing economic environment it seemed silly to continue to manage two mortgages. It was better to give the girls 18 acres than a garage deck, right?
For the first time in my life, I have been feeling like an adult. At nearly 34 I don’t know how I am just now feeling that way … but I am. As a mom of three, I am now suddenly very aware that the decisions I am making will shape these tiny humans. I one hundred percent believe my children’s lives will all be changed based upon the fact that they will now experience their formative years in the suburbs of Michigan rather than the city of Chicago.