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When I try to recall life before your arrival it isn’t easy. It’s hard to believe we are just shy of three years before you entered this world – it seems like a lifetime ago that I was pregnant with you. Every year I tell myself to write down your story before I lose any of the details, and every year comes and goes without me writing stories for you or your sisters.

Now you may be our middle child, but when it comes to the calendar year, you’re first – so this here is my first go at sharing your birth story. My intent is to update this post as the years go on. Perhaps we’ll make a tradition of reading it on your birthday.

To go back a beat before your arrival, I will tell you that I vividly remember taking the test that told me I was going to be a Mama again. We had essentially been trying since we had Palmer – we wanted kids close in age. Anyway, I woke up early because I didn’t want to disappoint your dad if it was negative. I took the test and as soon as I saw it was positive I grabbed the letter board from the mantle to make a quick sign.

This was all in May. It was actually Mother’s Day morning when I found out I was pregnant with you – best Mother’s Day gift to date! In the months that followed, we had a lot of fun coming up with ways to share our excitement about your upcoming arrival.

We told most of my friends with “alcoholic” cotton candy.

When I originally did the math and realized I would be having a January baby, my goal was to go as long as I could before having you so I could get your birthday as far away from Christmas as possible. Your big sis arrived right on her due date, so I was optimistic you would as well. That said, I also wanted to guarantee I wouldn’t be going beyond my due date. My pregnancy with you was quite exhausting. Something with the way you were positioned had it so I could barely walk – I had to go to physical therapy three times a week, which was such an adjustment from running throughout my previous pregnancy.

This was the last bump pic I took before your arrival.

This led to a conversation with Dr. Kelsey in which he said he would induce me on my due date – hallelujah! I started planning for you to arrive on January 22 – getting my induction scheduled was not easy, but then you had plans of your own …

On the morning of January 17, I woke up and told your Dad, “I think we’re having a baby today.” The plan was for Ammy and Papou to come to town to watch Palmer while we were at the hospital. I called Ammy to let her know I thought I was in labor. This is what I remember from that day:

• I worked all day (from home) knowing I was in labor and did my best to wrap things up.
• I snuck in a mani-pedi; I remember Papou calling me while I was at the salon and asking if they could just come tomorrow. (Something about his dogs – shocking, I know!) I told him that was fine, but that they may miss your arrival.
• Dad went to work at the office because he had a dentist appointment after work.
• There were several points during that evening that Dad asked if we needed to have Emily come watch Palmer so we could head to the hospital.
• I sent Dad out to get me poutine from the Chicago Dinner with jalapeños and a chocolate chip cookie dough shake – I joked that the jalapeños would surely send me into labor if I wasn’t already.
• Ammy and Papou arrived around 10:30 p.m. We had already put Palmer to bed and Papou buzzed waking her up. After they got there, I went back and forth on whether or not I needed to go to the hospital. I chatted with them and thought I may have some time …

Then I went to the bathroom and knew time was up. I called for Dad and he immediately took our bags down to the car. We headed to the hospital and I insisted we park and that I could walk with him into triage.

Things moved quickly from here. I was now certain I was in labor and I was certain you were coming any minute. I will never forget how seriously the women in triage took me this time versus when I arrived with Palmer.

My memories once we were at the hospital are as follows:

• I could barely sign the paperwork to be admitted; I was just stabbing at the documents and literally putting holes in them with the pen.
• They took me back quickly and checked me; I believe I heard them say I was at an eight and I was taken straight to labor and delivery.
• At this point I started to cry. I knew I wasn’t getting an epidural. They assured me they could try so they cleared the room and started attempting to put the needle in. After what seemed like minutes, but was really probably seconds, I let them know there was no time. Thankfully someone went and got your Dad. Without an epidural, I was about to meet you – all EIGHT pounds three ounces of you.

Delivering a baby without an epidural is NO JOKE. There was a lot of yelling. I literally didn’t think it was possible that I was going to survive pushing you out – I felt I was splitting in two. The nurses kept telling me to push and I kept telling them no – bearing down and doing the opposite. After a lot of screaming and a few very PAINFUL pushes you were here!

In all honestly, not having an epidural was the best and worst thing. It was so painful, but it also meant I didn’t have to wait for the epidural to wear off. I couldn’t get over how fast you came. It was 11:39 when they took me to labor and delivery and you arrived just 26 minutes later.

That’s one of those things I recall when I think about that day – I always remember that you were born on a Wednesday, except you weren’t. You were born at 12:05 a.m., so it was Thursday, a detail I have to remind myself of. I am fairly confident I stayed up all night with you – snuggling and feeding you every two hours.

The next day – correction – that day, (see that’s what happens when you’re born at 12:05 a.m.) Ammy and Papou brought Palmer to meet you at the hospital.

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And then we went home to start our life as a family of FOUR!